Much More Grateful....Still Incredibly Stupid

I’ll admit, it’s easy to pick on Paris Hilton. In fact, it’s almost lazy. No thought whatsoever is required to point out how utterly stupid 99% of the things that come out of her mouth are. (1% is so inanely moronic that I actually can’t process my thoughts on how or why it is so stupid – something in my gut just tells me that it is.) But, the fact that she keeps inviting us to participate in the pity party over her “ordeal” inspires a deep need within my soul to crush her and all that she stands for.

Take her recent interview with Ryan Seacrest where she laments her difficult experience behind bars. Apparently it’s tough to spend roughly three weeks behind bars giving interviews to the press and seeing your supportive family members (who should feel disgraced by your conduct) every day. If it’s so hard for you, imagine how hard it must be for those poor inmates that don’t have your status and thus serve their time without the luxury of a safe, personal cell, little to no contact or support from anyone on the outside, and no big bullshit social safety net to fall back on to help them get back on their feet.

Paris feels that, "I am behind glass and I want to give my dad a big hug and they won't even let me do that." "I'm not a criminal, I'm not dangerous. ... It's hard but I'm stronger every day."

Let’s get something straight. You are a criminal. You broke the law not once, but three times and that explains why you are in jail.

You are also dangerous. Nearly 17,000 people die every year in alcohol related crashes when drunken idiots like you are only trying to “make a late-night run to a hamburger stand” and swerve into oncoming traffic.

As far as I’m concerned, you’re exactly where you belong.